


Of all the wonders that I yet have heard

by mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday)



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode Rewrite: s07e10 Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrinneyFriday/pseuds/mygalfriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their lips just barely brush when around them the TARDIS lights go out, plunging them into darkness. River freezes against him and they both stare as the emergency lights above their heads kick in, lending the control room an eerie glow.</p><p>“What did you sit on?”</p><p>“Me?” The Doctor flails angrily. “I didn’t sit on anything! And if I did it’s your fault -”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of all the wonders that I yet have heard

**Author's Note:**

> Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS rewrite, if River was with the Doctor instead of Clara. Story title from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

Strolling into the console room raking his fingers through his mussed hair, the Doctor whistles contentedly, skips up to the controls and flips a lever. The TARDIS hums around him and he buttons his waistcoat with a grin, his thoughts still back in his bedroom, where his wife sleeps wrapped in nothing but bed sheets. He’d picked her up after she finished her afternoon lectures and that was hours ago. With no pressing universe-destroying plots to thwart, they’ve managed to occupy their time with other, less stressful but equally thrilling activities. For once, he’d been the one to wear River out instead of the other way around and he’d pulled himself from her arms only after watching her sleep for half an hour first.

 

She’s so beautiful, his Professor Song, and closer to the Library than ever. Every time he meets her, he waits with dread for a mention of that fated expedition, his hearts thudding in his chest and dread settling in his stomach until their diaries have been checked. It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s coming. He can feel it. He hates to be away from her for more than a moment or turn his attention away long enough to look anywhere else for fear he might miss a flicker of those eyes or a naughty grin. He is running out of time, and he’s so greedy for every bit of it he has left with his wife. It makes him clingy in public and more passionate than ever in private, but River certainly isn’t complaining about either. She beams at him every time he wraps his arm around her waist in a crowd, her eyes light up when his hands wander and his kisses bruise.

 

And of course he’s happy to make her happy. He only wishes he’d tried so hard all along. He wishes he had lived every moment with her with this sort of quiet desperation. River deserved this desperate, passionate wooing every single day of their marriage, not just now, when he’s so close to the end it scares the hell out of him.

 

The TARDIS hums again under his fingers and the Doctor’s smile softens.

 

“A date,” he murmurs, and giggles. They haven’t had a real date since her release from Stormcage. They still go on adventures frequently, of course, but nights solely spent romancing his wife have become few and far between. The Doctor intends to fix that today, just as soon as River wakes. Glancing fondly up at the time rotor, he asks, “Do you think she’d like to go dancing?”

 

“She definitely would.”

 

The Doctor starts, whirling to find River lounging in the doorway in a pair of jodhpurs with a gun strapped to her thigh, knee-high boots and one of his shirts tucked into her trousers, the top four buttons left undone to allow him a tantalizing peek of the lacy bra he’d peeled off of her hours ago. Her hair, he notices smugly, is still very thoroughly rumpled. “Dancing it is, then,” he beams.

 

River sidles up behind him as he turns back to the console, fiddling with buttons and levers as he contemplates the best place for dancing where they won’t run into their younger selves. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she presses herself against his back, nuzzling her cheek into his shirt. “I thought I was driving.”

 

“You were sleeping,” he points out, in the middle of mentally reviewing dancing in the 47th century versus the early 20th. “Besides, you can’t drive yourself to your own date, River. Honestly.”

 

She kisses his shoulder and he sighs happily at the warm press of her lips through his shirt. “And they say romance is dead,” she murmurs in amusement.

 

Turning in her arms because the last half a minute spent not looking at her has been a minute wasted, the Doctor finds himself pinned to the console, River’s arms trapping him on either side as she leans into his personal space and nips at his throat with her teeth. The Doctor shudders, and then forces himself to focus. “River,” he whinges. “Our date.”

 

“In a minute,” she mutters. “I’m enjoying being on the other side of the console for once.”

 

“For once?” He squawks. “I can count on both hands the number of times _I’ve_ been the one pinning _you_ here, Professor Song.”

 

Come to think of it, it’s really quite a shame.

 

River laughs softly. “You like it, sweetie.”

 

“Not the point.”

 

“And what is the point?”

 

River laves her hot tongue over the double pulse point in his neck, scrapes with her teeth and then soothes it again. His eyes flutter. Oh yes. “I – uh –“ He clears his throat. “What are we talking about?”

 

Her chuckle is low, amused, and undeniably sexy in its triumph. Throwing all resistance out the window, the Doctor slides his hands over her bum and yanks her into him, turning his head to kiss her properly. Their lips just barely brush when around them the TARDIS lights go out, plunging them into darkness. River freezes against him and they both stare as the emergency lights above their heads kick in, lending the control room an eerie glow.

 

“What did you sit on?”

 

“Me?” The Doctor flails angrily. “I didn’t sit on anything! And if I did it’s _your_ fault -”

 

River scoffs and pushes away from him, turning her attention to the console. She flips a few switches but nothing happens. “The electrical impulses are jammed,” she says with a worried frown. Hurrying around to the other side of the console, she yanks at a lever but it refuses to budge. With a frustrated growl, she tries again, using both hands this time. “I can’t get the shields back up!”

 

“Then she’s completely vulnerable!” He shouts back, just as River finally manages to get the lever up. Instantly, the room around them erupts into chaos, the console sparking and sputtering dangerously as the ship jolts, sending them both stumbling. The Doctor clings to the railing while River grips the console tightly. A panel on the other side erupts into flames and the Doctor grits his teeth, pushing away from the railing to make his way toward the damage. “Go on then, press a button and fix it like you always do! You know, your big spoilery know-it-all button!”

 

“Oh, so _now_ you want me driving!”

 

“River!”

 

Before they can get into a domestic in the middle of what is essentially a house fire, something small and metal clatters onto the control room floor. It rolls toward River and as if on instinct, she dives for it with lightening quick reflexes. She holds it for only a moment before crying out in pain and dropping it, swearing like the hardened prison inmate she is.

 

“River!” He shouts again, this time out of concern rather than annoyance. Before he can even make his way toward her, the TARDIS begins to shake and shudder wildly, and the Doctor loses his footing as the ship spirals out of control. He hits his head against the metal railing behind him and the last thing he hears before unconsciousness takes him is the sound of River calling for him.

 

-

 

He wakes beneath a heap of rubbish and half of his TARDIS, and wriggling out from beneath it all is no easy feat. He climbs to his feet, stumbles a bit, and glances wildly around for River. He sees no curly head of hair poking out from beneath the prison he just escaped from, which is all at once a relief and a worry. If she’s not out here with him, then where is she?

 

At the sound of footsteps, he glances up hopefully only to see three men walking swiftly in the opposite direction away from him. The Doctor leaps forward to catch up with them.  “It’s rude to whisper!” He throws his arms around the two young men with their heads bent together, insinuating himself between them with a grin he doesn’t really feel. “Hi!” He pats one of them on the shoulder and pivots on his heel to step in front of them, friendly grin still in place. “I’m the Doctor. And you are -” He takes the hand of the taller one, shaking it as he peers at his work shirt. “Baalen and -” He shakes the shorter one’s hand, stooping to read. “Baalen.” He frowns. “That might get confusing later.”

 

“We found your ship drifting,” says the short one, eyeing him warily.

 

The tall one nods in agreement. “It was junked up pretty bad.”

 

“What broke my ship was a magno-grab,” the Doctor confides in a whisper, glancing between them as his friendly grin begins to fade around the edges. He holds up the metal device in his hand and waves it at them. “Found this remote in your pocket, eh?”

 

They glance away guiltily, frowning.

 

“What are the chances?” He shoves past them, gesturing with the remote. “Outlawed in most galaxies, this little beastie can disable whole vessels.” He snaps his fingers and motions toward the TARDIS, nestled on top of a pile of junk and smoking worryingly. “Unless you have shield oscillators… which I might have turned off by accident when River was -” He strokes his throat in remembrance, and then blushes. “Speaking of which, have you seen a woman?”

 

They stare at him in confusion. “What woman?” The short one ventures.

 

“ _The_ woman, obviously.” He scowls at them. “About this high. Hair like this.” He mimes a full head of hair a bit too generously. “Curves.” He makes an exaggerated hourglass motion with a grin. “Probably carrying a gun and wearing a rather sinful smirk that does funny things to your insides.”

 

They glance between each other blankly.

 

The Doctor clears his throat and tugs at his bowtie. “Right. Just me then.” Turning his head to look at the TARDIS over his shoulder, he swallows hard. “She’s still on board.” River is still in there somewhere. She could be unconscious or hurt or – Without another thought, the Doctor lurches for his ship.

 

“No, wait!” The third, unnamed man grabs him by the shirt, yanking him back. “Your ship is leaking fuel. If she’s still in there, she’s dead.”

 

Lips parted in surprise, the Doctor can only stare at him for a long moment, his mind racing. River can’t be dead. He knows how River dies and it is _not_ on his ship while he stands outside and does nothing. “No,” he whispers, tugging a hand through his hair and turning in a circle, willing back the urge to panic. _River_. “ _No_.” There has to be something, some way to –

 

There.

 

“Respirators!” He bounds toward them eagerly, yanking the masks from their shelf.

 

“Look,” Tall Baalen says. “We can open the doors for a split second, reach in and grab her.”

 

“Trust me, you can’t.” The Doctor hands them each a mask and moves quickly past them toward the TARDIS. “Now please, help me get her out.”

 

“I’m telling you, she’s -”

 

“Shut it, Tin Man.” Short Baalen shoves at the third man, scowling. “What sort of fee are we talking?”

 

Standing atop the pile of rubbish and parts, peering down at his ship, the Doctor turns and looks at them. “If you help me get River out, you get the machine. All the scrap, eh?”

 

“It’s not worth the risk,” the tall one scoffs. “Four feet of metal?”

 

“What if I can guarantee you the best haul you’ve ever had?”

 

“Bram.” The short one motions for the tall one. “Open the bay doors.”

 

“No, please.” The Doctor stumbles forward, hand outstretched and hearts in his throat. If they don’t help him, he’ll never find River in time. He leaps from his perch back to the floor, striding toward them. “Listen to me. Right behind those doors is the _salvage of a lifetime_.”

 

Short Baalen – the greedy one, the Doctor realizes – does not need more convincing than that. The Doctor dons his respirator with shaking hands and climbs back up to the TARDIS, the other men standing behind him as he gently kicks the door open. He steps inside and walks up the walkway as his three new companions stand in the doorway, staring.

 

“She was lying on her side.”

 

“The TARDIS is special,” he says, glancing frantically around the control room in the vain hope that River hadn’t gone anywhere. He wanted so badly to see her sitting on the jump seat, waiting for him with a grin. “She has her own gravity. I’d explain if I had some charts.”

 

The three men slowly ease their way inside, flashing their torches around. “It’s bigger -”

 

“On the inside,” the Doctor finishes impatiently, typing at the console. “You know, I get that a lot.”

 

“Whoa.”

 

“Awesome.”

 

“Welcome, whoa and awesome.” He pushes one last button with a flourish and the extractor fans whir to life, drawing all the toxic fumes out of the console room. “Safe to breathe!” Around him, Bram, Short Baalen and Android take off their masks, and the Doctor pulls his own down to rest around his neck. “Okay. Now.” Fishing his sonic out of his trouser pocket, he darts around to the other side of the console and begins to scan. In his mind’s eye, he can see River as she’d been only minutes ago, glaring adorably at him and clinging to the console for balance. The moment she’d let go to grab something from the floor and her hiss of pain as she dropped it again. “Come on, honey. Where are you?”

 

Still staring around in awe, Bram asks, “How big is this baby?”

 

“Picture the biggest ship you’ve ever seen.” The Doctor pockets his sonic, unable to get a decent reading. “Are you picturing it?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Good. Now forget it.” He moves to the scanner, scrubbing a hand over his face in his anxiety. “Because this ship is infinite.”

 

“Then it’ll take you hours to find your woman.”

 

“Days,” he corrects tersely. “Plus, the air is toxic everywhere else. She’ll be dead by the time I reach her. So.” He claps his hands together. “Here’s the mission. We’re going to find her in one hour.”

 

Short Baalen blinks at him incredulously. “We?”

 

He nods. “You’re my guys for this.”

 

“That wasn’t part of the deal!”

 

“It is now.”

 

Bram frowns at him. “What makes you think we’ll help?”

 

Oh, he’d really been hoping one of them would ask that question. The Doctor smiles grimly and flips a lever with gusto. “I just activated the TARDIS self-destruct system. One hour until this ship blows.”

 

Even as he finishes his sentence, Bram makes a run for the doors, which shut just as he reaches them.

 

“Don’t try to leave,” the Doctor says calmly, without even turning around. “The TARDIS is in lockdown. I’ll open the doors when River is with me.”

 

Bram bangs a fist against the door and wails, “You crazy lunatic!”

 

The Doctor pivots on his heel with a growled, “My ship, my rules!”

 

Rounding the console and obviously under the impression that he can be reasoned with when it comes to River or her safety, Short Baalen says, “You’ll kill us all! And your River!”

 

“She’s going to die if you don’t help me.” The Doctor frowns at them, rubbing his hands together. “Don’t get into a ship with a mad man. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that?”

 

They aren’t listening to him, banging on the TARDIS doors in a fruitless attempt to escape. Sighing, the Doctor turns back to the console and flicks another switch. “Okay, a little gentle persuasion. Set to thirty minutes.”

 

“We’ll die even quicker now!”

 

“Or you’ll perform better under pressure. Anybody want to go for fifteen minutes?” The three men rush forward, wide-eyed and panicked, their arms outstretched to stop him. “It’s your own time you’re wasting. The salvage of a lifetime.” The Doctor’s smile is hollow as he looks at them, his mind far away on River, silently pleading with the TARDIS to do what she can to keep their girl safe. “You meant the ship. I meant my wife.”

 

-

 

River wakes with a headache even worse than she had after that night of drinking absinthe with the Doctor and Oscar Wilde, which is certainly a feat in and of itself. Groaning, she sits up very slowly and finds herself in a corridor deep in the TARDIS rather than in the control room where she’s quite sure she’d been. Wherever they are, it must have been a hell of a rough landing. Around her, the corridor is lined with spare TARDIS parts and old rubbish and she silently thanks the Old Girl for at least protecting her from being buried beneath it all.

 

Instead of a reassuring hum, the TARDIS groans and River feels an ache in her chest, at one with the Old Girl’s suffering. “Shh,” she whispers, a hitch in her voice as she strokes the floor beneath her with her fingers. “I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it, I promise. Just let me -” She presses a hand to her aching head and winces, pulling her hand away again to examine the angry-looking burn blistering her palm. The burn is in some sort of pattern… letters? It’s too faded to make out and River drops her hand with a sigh, glancing around the lonely corridor. “Doctor?”

 

No answer.

 

The idiot is probably still unconscious somewhere.

 

Standing slowly and using the wall for support, River begins the trek back to the control room to find her husband and fix whatever is troubling the TARDIS. Her hand continues to sting, the skin of her palm on fire, but she does her best to ignore it, winding through the endless maze of corridors. She’s explored deep within the TARDIS before, when she was younger and getting to know the Mother who helped her come into being, or later when she was older and merely trying to hide from her husband after a row. River trails her fingers along the wall with a soft smile. He always managed to find her, but never until she was ready to be found, thanks to the Old Girl.

 

“Always on my side,” she murmurs, and despite the pain she must be in, the TARDIS tries to hum reassuringly. Instead, she just sounds apologetic and River doesn’t understand why until she rounds the corner and comes face to face with a mangled, ossified creature that might have once been a human being. It hisses in her face and River gasps in shock, stumbling back as her hand automatically reaches for the gun strapped to her thigh.

 

The creature staggers toward her with a strange limp and River raises her gun in front of her, hesitating. It growls low in its throat and she swallows. It may have been human once, she decides, but not anymore. As it bares its teeth and lunges for her, she squeezes the trigger and fires. It wails and jerks back, hissing wildly and River doesn’t wait around to find out whether or not a mere shot could kill it, darting around the creature and sliding her gun back into her holster as she runs.

 

When she’s far enough away to deem herself safe for the moment, she pauses in a corridor to catch her breath, leaning against a wall. It’s taking longer than usual to find the control room and she has a feeling the TARDIS rooms have been rearranged in the Old Girl’s distress.

 

“ _River_.”

 

Head snapping up instantly, River smiles at the sound of the Doctor’s voice and pushes off the wall, walking quickly around the corner, following the sound.

 

_“What about our date?”_

 

She halts the moment she rounds the corner, staring in confusion at the flickering image of herself and the Doctor as they’d been not that long ago in the control room, pressed against the console and enjoying their time alone. She watches herself nuzzle the Doctor’s neck and murmur, “ _In a minute_.”

 

“Oh,” she breathes, watching them for a moment longer and quietly enjoying the besotted look on the Doctor’s face she hadn’t even noticed before. “Echoes.” For the TARDIS to be leaking time, she must be in very bad shape indeed. Backing away slowly, River turns on her heel and walks in the other direction.

 

She makes it five steps before glancing to the hall on the right and seeing herself wrapped up in the Doctor’s arms on one of the countless occasions they use the control room floor as their own private ballroom. She can’t help pausing a moment to watch with a smile, admiring the way the Doctor had swept her around the room with that proud grin every time she clung to him and giggled. Oh, that man. He’s absolutely ridiculous, but when it comes to romancing his wife, none can match him.

 

Blowing their echoes a kiss, River forces her eyes away from the happy scene and keeps walking, her boots reverberating in the empty corridor as she goes.

 

_“Why can’t you just listen to me when I tell you to do something?!”_

_“Because, my love, despite what you’d choose to believe, you are not right all the time!”_

 

Ah. That row last month over the skirmish on Scrantek.

 

River walks past that particular echo quickly, head down.

 

_“Oh, yes. Right there, sweetie. Don’t stop – there!”_

 

With a wicked grin, River halts in her tracks and turns her head to find an echo of the Doctor between her legs as she sits on the jump seat in the control room, his head buried beneath her dress. Ooh, the making up after the row over the skirmish on Scrantek – definitely a good memory. Leaning against the wall, River crosses her arms over her chest and settles in to watch. It isn’t often she gets the chance to witness herself being ravished by the Doctor. Well, except for that one memorable Valentine’s Day but she decides not to count that. She watches her echo toss her head back, curls spilling over the back of the jump seat as she moans and writhes beneath the Doctor’s skilled tongue. She curls a hand into his hair, undulating her hips against his mouth.

 

River bites her lip against a whimper at the memory.

 

It takes her a moment to hear it over the echoing sounds of her own moans and cries, but eventually, River detects the sound of limping footsteps approaching her from behind. Tensing instantly and all her fun forgotten, she inches her fingers toward her gun holster.

 

“Come to see the show?” She asks, turning just as the creature’s fingers – or what used to be fingers, she supposes – reach out to wrap around her hair and yank. She fires at point blank range and the fingers drop from her hair at once as it cries out angrily, dropping to its knees. “Sorry, but I’m not the type of girl who likes to share.”

 

Not waiting for it to get back up again, she reluctantly leaves the increasingly passionate echo of herself and the Doctor behind to find a safer, creature-free corridor to roam. She runs until she can’t hear the howling of whatever that thing is anymore, past the swimming pool, past the library and the helter skelter. Winded, she stops just outside the observatory to catch her breath.

 

A strangled noise echoes through the corridor.

 

River lifts her head slowly; worried the creature has caught up with her already. Seeing nothing, she stays silent and listens closely, waiting. After a moment, she hears it again, clearer this time. It sounds like… crying. Worse, it sounds like the _Doctor_ crying. Hearts in her throat, River straightens and inches quietly toward the sound, already dreading what she’ll find.

 

“Sweetie?” She calls out softly, and nearing the end of the corridor, she cautiously peeks her head around the corner. What she finds waiting for her brings tears to her eyes.

 

The Doctor sits crumpled on his knees in front of her, his face in his hands. Never before has she heard him cry like that, so broken and without hope. He sounds as if his very faith in the goodness of the universe has been shattered. He’s only an echo but River steps forward anyway, wishing she could reach out a hand and comfort him. “Oh, my love,” she breathes. “What happened?”

 

He’s dressed in a top hat and tails – exactly the sort he wears when he’s taking her out somewhere special – so this can’t be just after he lost her parents. What else happened to reduce him to such a state? And if it was one of their date nights, why wasn’t she there to look after him?

 

And then she sees it. Her diary sits in front of him, brilliant, faded blue and stuffed full of adventures. In fact, it looks even fuller than it does right now when she’d left it on the nightstand in their bedroom only hours ago. How can it be fuller then than it is now? And why does the Doctor have it?

 

River bites her lip, tears filling her eyes. She can only think of one reason the Doctor would ever be in possession of her diary, and putting that reason together with the scene in front of her is enough to break her hearts. Hunched over on his knees, the Doctor presses his face into the floor and murmurs quietly to himself. River strains her ears to hear, leaning forward as close as she dares.

 

_“River.”_

 

It’s all he says, over and over again.

 

Dread fills her stomach like lead as her suspicions are confirmed. This is a future echo of the Doctor. It hasn’t happened yet – and it won’t happen until the day he loses her. Overwhelmed by the knowledge, River shakes her head quickly and stumbles back away from the scene in front of her. “I’m so sorry, my love,” she whispers, and swallows back a sob as she leaves her husband sitting there on the floor, grieving for her.

 

She walks blindly after that, not really paying attention to where she’s going. She knew that she would die before the Doctor, obviously, and she’d been okay with that. She’d given her lives up specifically so that he could keep on living and she wouldn’t take it back for anything in the universe. But seeing him back there, seeing the heartbreak that’s to come for him… River would give anything to stop it from happening. She can’t seem to shake the image of him on his knees like that, lost and broken and alone. Who will look after him when she isn’t around anymore?

 

It comes as a surprise when she wanders into the console room since she hadn’t even been paying attention to where she was walking, but River sighs gratefully at the sight of it, nearly running toward the doors. Except the doors aren’t there.

 

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” She groans in frustration, slaps the space where the doors should be. This whole bloody room is an echo. Wonderful. Behind her, the doors out of the room slide shut and River hears the locking mechanism click into place, effectively sealing her inside.

 

Breathing out steadily to diffuse the rising panic – being trapped anywhere has never done her psyche any good – River sinks down onto the jump seat and rakes a tired hand through her hair. Trying to push away the memory of her broken Doctor to think, she shuts her eyes tightly. Obviously the TARDIS led her here and locked her in for a reason. She would never lead River on a wild goose chase no matter how much pain she might be in. So. She’s supposed to be here. But why?

 

A loud bang startles River from her thoughts and she jumps despite herself, listening to a familiar, growling hiss from outside. “So that’s why,” she laughs softly. “Thank you for protecting me, Old Girl.”

 

The TARDIS gives a pained hum.

 

_“Doctor, you couldn’t have stopped her.”_

 

River whips her around to the right with enough force to make her neck crack, gaping at the sight of an unfamiliar redhead across the room, her soft-eyed gaze on a thin man with spiky hair and spectacles leaning against a very different TARDIS console. River recognizes this Doctor instantly as the one she’d cornered with a picnic basket on Asgard. He’d seemed so sad and so angry – he could barely look at her at first.

 

The Doctor doesn’t seem to hear his companion, his eyes staring off into the distance. “ _The way she looked at me. River knew me. She knew things I’ve never_ -” He breaks off, shaking his head. “ _And I’m supposed to what? Keep meeting her over and over again knowing how it ends?”_

 

The redhead – Donna Noble, River realizes over the pounding of her hearts – presses a comforting hand to his arm, her mouth turned down in sympathy.

 

 _“Why would I do that? Why would I let myself feel that way again knowing she’s already dead?”_  He glances at Donna with empty brown eyes. “ _What’s the point?”_

 

Donna squeezes his arm. “ _It’s not about how it ends, Space Man. The point is all the bits_ before _the end. The middle is the point.”_

 

Sliding from the jump seat and to the floor with shaking limbs, River draws her knees up to her chest, buries her face in them and covers her ears with her hands, shaking her head violently in denial. “No,” she whispers numbly, her voice hitching. “No more. Please, Old Girl. _No more_.”

 

-

 

River is crying.

 

The Doctor stands in the middle of the control room in absolute silence and listens to the sound of his wife in tears, turning around in a circle as he attempts to follow the sound to its source. He can’t see her but she’s here somewhere. She’s here and she’s upset but she’s alive and he needs her _now_.

 

Running around the console and flipping levels, flicking switches, babbling to the only two left, Gregor and Tricky – Short Baalen and the Android have names now, which is much less confusing – about what he’s doing as he moves quickly. He can’t even really be sure of the accuracy of his explanation, his mind too filled with the sound of River crying to really think about the words coming out of his mouth. River never cries. Whatever has happened to her while they’ve been separated is bad enough to reduce her to tears and the Doctor isn’t sure he wants to find out why. God, if she’s been hurt by one of those things roaming the TARDIS or –

 

The Doctor shakes himself quickly. Can’t think about that now. He can think about that when River is here in the control room with him. Flipping open his screwdriver, he yanks Gregor’s handheld device from his grasp, ignoring his grunt of protest as he sonics it.

 

_“Scanning for female Human Plus.”_

 

He walks around the room with the device, agitation and anxiety in his every step as the thing scans for River. “Come on,” he mutters. “You stupid bloody piece of -”

 

_“Female Human Plus identified.”_

 

Pausing in front of the jumpseat with the device pointed at the floor, the Doctor’s stomach drops. River is on the floor and crying. Why is River on the floor and crying? Panic threatening to overwhelm him, the Doctor quickly tosses the device back to Gregor and crouches, pointing his sonic where River should be and pressing a button. With a whirr of his screwdriver and a bit more fiddling, the Doctor reaches out a hand into the nothingness in front of him and _pulls_.

 

He lands on his back with River in his arms and he laughs in delight, tightening his grip on her as she gasps in surprise into his neck. She shocks the hell out of him by not scrambling off his lap with a grumpy huff or curling up with a purred innuendo, but instead clinging to his waistcoat and burying her face against his throat with a sniffled, “Hello sweetie.”

 

Sitting up, the Doctor gathers her into his chest and shushes her, smoothing a hand over her hair and kissing her forehead. “I’ve got you,” he whispers. “It’s alright, honey. You’re not hurt, are you?”

 

Pulling away instantly, River ducks her head and wipes hurriedly at her eyes, as if mortified at her own weakness. “No, my love. I’m fine.”

 

“Physically, perhaps,” he ventures, frowning as he attempts to pull her into him again. She looks so incredibly fragile right now, her eyelashes wet and her face tear-streaked. He just wants to hold her in his arms and rock her until whatever she has seen is forgotten, wiped away like the tears he brushes away with his fingertips.

 

River bats him away, squaring her shoulders and rising fluidly to her feet. “Honestly, sweetie,” she says, with only a shadow of her usual smirk. “Not in front of our guests.”

 

He glances back at Gregor and Tricky with a frown. “Hardly guests. They’re trying to kill us and take the TARDIS for scrap.”

 

She hums thoughtfully. “So our usual sort of guest then?”

 

He pouts.

 

Laughing softly, River holds out a hand to help him up and he takes it, wrapping his fingers around her own and not letting go even when he’s on his feet again. He draws her nearer and the fact that River lets him after allowing herself to be so vulnerable in front of him says volumes. Whatever happened while they were apart has shaken her – and River Song doesn’t scare easily.

 

“Alright, we had a deal,” Gregor snaps. “We helped get your wife back, now cancel the self-destruct.”

 

River raises an amused eyebrow at him.

 

The Doctor flushes. “I was worried! And honestly, I would not want them on my quiz team because it didn’t take much to convince them.”

 

“I bet it didn’t, you bad boy.”

 

“Oh, stop it.” He glances nervously at their guests, crackling his knuckles. “Not in front of the guys, River.”

 

She sighs. “Are you going to tell them or shall I?”

 

Gregor steps in between them with a vicious frown. “ _What_ is she talking about?”

 

“Uh, well.” The Doctor scratches his cheek and offers them a cheerful, slightly apologetic grin. “There isn’t actually a TARDIS self-destruct button.”

 

They gape at him.

 

Lounging against the console and inspecting her nails, her earlier tears forgotten, River smirks at them. “Let me guess, he wiggled a few buttons and then did his very best serious face. Oh, and we mustn’t forget the voice.” She glances at him slyly, her eyes sparkling. “Such a lovely voice. Do it for me now, sweetie?”

 

He bops her on the noise with a grin. “Later.”

 

“Is that a promise?”

 

“If you’re a good girl.”

 

“So that’s a no, then.”

 

He huffs. “River.”

 

She winks at him.

 

“Hang on,” Tricky interrupts, looking exasperated. “Are you saying we’re safe?”

 

“Ish.” The Doctor forces his gaze away from his wife to focus. “Aside from the monsters and the TARDIS reinventing the architecture every five minutes.” He whirls to the console. “I’ll just turn the countdown off. I only made it _look_ like the engine was exploding.”

 

Around them, an alarm blares.

 

River’s frosty glare from across the room is palpable even though he isn’t actually looking at her. The Doctor stares at the screen read out – engine status: overloaded – and yelps, “Uh, okay. Don’t panic!” He flips a lever, reaches up to the top of the console to press a button and when nothing happens, says, “Okay, maybe panic.”

 

Hip cocked and arms crossed, River asks, “Shall I use my big, spoilery, know-it-all button?”

 

He points a finger at her and glares. “Not funny.”

 

She shrugs. “It’s a little funny.”

 

Gregor scowls at them and shouts over the alarm bell, “What’s happening?”

 

“It appears the TARDIS engine is actually exploding,” River explains, and starts for the stairs, the Doctor at her heels. “We’re going to need to take a detour.” She whirls and the Doctor nearly runs into her, settling his hands on her hips to keep them both from tumbling over. “Sonic.”

 

“Yes, I know,” he grumbles, fishing it out of his trouser pocket. He aims it at the secret door in the wall and watches River scramble inside, averting his eyes from the sight of her bum in those jodhpurs until she’s safely inside and smirking at him. “Oh, shut up.”

 

He climbs in after her and as Gregor and Tricky move to follow him, River holds up a hand. “You two need to stay here. The journey to the centre of the TARDIS is dangerous at the best of times, but with the TARDIS being so tetchy, it’s downright perilous. It’s best if you wait here in the console room. You’ll be much safer.”

 

The Doctor looks at her gratefully and she only purses her lips and glances away, so he turns to the two men frowning at them. “You heard the missus. Stay put.” He turns to lead River down the hall, then turns back and claps his hands together. “Oh, and if you’d like to use this time alone to, I dunno, confess to lying to your brother and convincing him he’s actually an Android – well, good on you.”

 

He shuts the door before either of them can say another word, turning to find River already halfway down the corridor. Hurrying to catch up with her, he asks, “How did you know?”

 

She doesn’t look at him as they navigate the corridors side by side. “The TARDIS is leaking the past and the future. Those… _things_ are from the future. Our future. Which I’m guessing you already knew.”

 

Swallowing, he glances away, all at once grateful for and resentful of River’s ability to stay one step ahead of him at all times. It means he doesn’t have to explain himself but it also means he has no way hiding anything from her either.

 

“So we needed to stop it from happening, which we just did by leaving them back there. We’ve altered the timeline.” She shrugs like she hasn’t just saved their lives and the lives of two men she just met, and the Doctor feels his absolute love for this selfless, wonderful woman fill him to bursting.

 

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love how absurdly clever you are?” He reaches out to take her hand, squeezing affectionately, and River grimaces. “What? What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.” She pulls her hand from his and studies her palm. “Just burned my hand earlier.”

 

He reaches for her again, frowning in concern. “Let me see it.”

 

“I’m fine, sweetie.” She curls her hand into a fist and tosses him a brazen smile. “You can kiss me all better later.”

 

“Looking forward to it,” he mutters, and drops his hand back to his side.

 

River slows to a stop outside the door they need to go through – a shortcut that goes directly past the Eye of Harmony. She offers him her uninjured hand and he takes it gratefully, squeezing her fingers. “Ready to run?”

 

He kisses her knuckles. “With you? Always.”

 

With a wink, she opens the door and they move quickly. The heat is overwhelming, nearly taking his breath away, but he knows it has to be worse for River, who can’t tolerate extreme temperatures as well as he can. He doesn’t let her pause to admire the Eye, yanking her with him across the walkway, his fingers tightly laced through hers as he drags her along. They make it to the other side in seconds, throw open the door and stumble out, shutting it behind them. The relative humidity of the TARDIS corridor is like a cool breeze in their faces as they lean against the door, fighting to catch their breath.

 

River has a bead of sweat trickling down her temple and along her cheek, and the Doctor relinquishes her hand long enough to swipe it away with his thumb.  “River?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“How did you know the TARDIS is leaking the past and the future?”

 

“I’m absurdly clever, remember?”

 

“River.”

 

She sighs, pushing away from the door and walking down the short corridor that leads to the engine room. “Doctor, now isn’t the time for this.”

 

“We’re about to attempt to get inside the very centre of the TARDIS, dear, which is stupidly dangerous even for us.” He tugs patiently at one of her curls and ignores her glare. “Now is precisely the right time.”

 

She clenches her jaw for a moment, her hand curled around the doorknob in front of her so tightly her knuckles are white. “When we were separated, I saw echoes of us.”

 

“Oh, yes, I imagine you would have.” He rocks back on his heels, hooking his thumbs into his trouser pockets as she pointedly does not look at him. “There’s a bit of a tear in the fabric of the time continuum, which I’m sure you know already because you’re you -”

 

“I saw future echoes, Doctor.”

 

“Yes, you mentioned, dear.” He eyes her carefully, starting to feel a little nervous the longer she avoids looking directly at him, staring at her shoes, the door, three inches to the left of his head. “See anything good? Do you ever not shoot my hats?”

 

“I saw you,” she admits quietly.

 

“Handsome as ever, right?” He reaches out a hand to poke her cautiously and when she lifts her head to meet his gaze, he’s startled to see tears glistening in her eyes. “River, what -”

 

“Doctor,” she whispers, shaking her head. “I saw you grieving my death.”

 

His hearts stutter and stop in his chest and the Doctor stumbles back a step, feeling all the blood drain from his face as he looks at her. “No -”

 

“You were all alone,” she continues, her voice shaking. “Doctor, I’ve always known you would outlast me but you can’t be alone when that happens. Promise me -”

 

“Don’t, River,” he grits out through clenched teeth, spinning away from her to clench his hands in his hair and squeeze his eyes shut. She just saw him mourning her and a normal woman might be concerned about herself and what happens to her, but not River. Oh no. River’s first thought has always been and will always be for him and his well-being, and the Doctor both hates and loves her selflessness. He can’t do this now. Her end is coming but he isn’t ready for it yet and he certainly isn’t ready to _talk_ about it in any calm, rational way – especially not with River herself. “Please don’t.”

 

“I just don’t want you to be alone -”

 

“To hell with not being alone,” he snaps, turning on her with anger that deflates the moment he sees the look on her face. “I’m going to _lose you_ and you can’t expect me to just go on and have adventures with my companions like it doesn’t matter. You _matter_ , River. More than anyone!”

 

Tears fill her eyes and River turns from him quickly, as if afraid of him seeing them. Yanking opening the door to the engine room, she darts inside in an attempt to run from him and the raw force of her own emotions. Thankfully, he’s right on her heels so when she stumbles and nearly steps off a cliff that drops to absolutely nowhere, he’s there to yank her back by her shirt, a panicked shout of her name on his lips. She stumbles back into him with a choked cry, turning in his arms to let him hold her, shuddering violently.

 

The Doctor buries his face in her curls and holds her small, trembling frame roughly to him. “The first time I met you, you died,” he whispers shakily, and River clings to him all the tighter, her fingers stroking the back of his neck.

 

“Don’t, Doctor. Spoilers.”

 

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He swallows tightly. “I need you to listen to me. I didn’t have a clue who you were, River, and you sacrificed yourself for me. And from that moment on, I didn’t stop running away from the way you made me feel. I ran until the day I married you. Everything about you scared the hell out of me. How was I supposed to let you in and fall in love with you and then just _let you go_? But I did fall. I fell so hard and so quickly.” He smiles humorlessly into her hair, nuzzling his nose into her curls. “Who could resist you, River Song? And now I spend every moment I’m with you terrified that it’s our last. Because one day soon, it’s going to be.”

 

River’s shoulders shake beneath his hands but she remains silent and steadfast, holding him up as he sags against her, wrung out and exhausted, tears burning his eyes. “I’m so sorry, my love.” She lifts her head, cupping his face in her hands, her eyes red and watery as she looks at him. “Not for me, but for you. I never -”

 

“Don’t be sorry,” he breathes, shaking his head. He holds her face in his hands, swiping his thumbs softly over her cheeks and smiling tremulously down at her. “Don’t you dare be sorry for being so wonderful and brilliant I could never get over you.”

 

She chokes out a strangled laugh, turning her face into his palm and kissing it gently.

 

“I’m going to fix it,” he promises softly. “You’re not leaving me.” River begins to shake her head so he stops her with a quick, desperate kiss, pressing his mouth hard against hers until she stops resisting and starts kissing him back. He rests his forehead against hers and looks into her eyes. “I will find a way. Hey?”

 

She strokes her fingers over his cheek.

 

“Trust me?”

 

“You know I do, sweetie.”

 

He gives her a wobbly smile. “My River Song. We’ll be together, one way or another. Always.”

 

“You’re such an idiot.” Leaning up on her tiptoes, River kisses him, her mouth soft and warm and her lips tasting of strawberry chapstick and tea. The Doctor clings to her like a drowning man to a life raft, his hands in her hair and his lanky frame pressed against the heat of her curves. “And I love you so much.”

 

He nuzzles his nose against hers. “Ditto. Except for, you know, the part about being an idiot.”

 

She hums softly. “Doctor?”

 

“Yes, honey?”

 

“You know how I like to jump from really high places and have you catch me?”

 

A little warily, he agrees, “Yes, unfortunately.”

 

“Well, how would you like to try it with me this time?”

 

“Is this your form of couples therapy?” He frowns at her, already following her to the edge of the cliff and holding tightly to her hand because insane plan or not, he trusts River Song with everything. “And who’s going to be at the bottom to catch us?”

 

“The TARDIS, of course.”

 

“Right, of course, silly Doctor,” he says dryly, but when she arches an eyebrow, he gets it. “ _Oh_.”

 

“Getting slow in your old age, sweetie.”

 

He ignores her smirk, grinning. “A portal. Brilliant!”

 

“You ready?”

 

He nods, gripping her hand tightly. “You jump, I jump, Song.”

 

When he shouts _Geronimo!_ , they leap off the cliff together.

 

-

 

Standing in a white room, River dusts herself off and glances around in silence while the Doctor climbs to his feet with a disgruntled grumble. “The heart of the TARDIS,” she whispers, staring at the fractured remnants of the engine frozen in mid-air all around them. “It must have exploded when we collided with the salvage ship.” She breathes out steadily as the Doctor inhales sharply behind her, a choked noise of distress.

 

She holds out a hand behind her and after a moment, the Doctor takes it. “She wrapped her hands around the explosion and froze it,” he says, and the tremor in his voice breaks her hearts. “There’s no way to save her.” He swallows thickly. “All this time, she’s looked after me and I – now it’s my turn. I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do, River.”

 

“Shh,” she soothes, turning instantly to take his face in her hands. “Hush now. We will fix this, sweetie. We won’t let her down.”

 

He nods numbly, his eyes wet.

 

River strokes his cheek with her hand, and out of the corner of her eye, she sees the burn on her palm. She glances at it and sees the letters that had been too faded to make out before are much clearer now. Stifling a smirk, she looks back at the Doctor. “Trust me?”

 

“You know I do,” is his instant reply.

 

She holds up her hand triumphantly to let him read the words burned into the fragile skin of her palm.

 

 _Big, spoilery, know-it-all button_.

 

He breaks into a gleeful, relieved laugh instantly, gathering her into his arms and spinning her around right in the heart of the TARDIS, time frozen all around them. It reminds her of their wedding day and River clings to him, grinning into his neck until he sets her on her feet again, pressing reverent kisses to her palm, his eyes full of tenderness. “Oh, you clever girl. Clever me, really.”

 

River nudges him.

 

“Right, sorry. Clever us.”

 

They race back to the control room for the remote, hand in hand with breathless grins on their faces. When they stumble into the control room, they find the two men they’d left behind sitting together on the jump seat, tense and red-eyed. “Did you tell him?” The Doctor asks, eyeing them cautiously.

 

Gregor nods.

 

The Doctor beams. “Good man.”

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Snatching up the device lying on the console, the Doctor flips open his sonic and River watches as he begins to etch the words they need into the metal. “He’s rewriting today,” she answers for him, edging closer to her husband. “It’s the only way.”

 

“But you -” The Doctor pauses briefly to point his sonic at Gregor. “Remember what happened here.”

 

Glancing guiltily at his brother, Gregor mumbles, “Yes, sir.”

 

As the Doctor goes back to burning their message into the metal, River wraps a gentle hand around his bicep and confides quietly, “I don’t want to forget either.”

 

“You might not,” he answers, glancing at her. “You’re part Time Lord.”

 

“But I’m part human too,” she reasons. “There’s no way of knowing -”

 

“It doesn’t matter, River,” he says, pocketing his sonic. Grabbing her hand, he presses it to his face and looks at her intently, his eyes soft and earnest. “I meant what I said. Together, always. Whatever I have to do.”

 

She pushes back the swell of emotion threatening to choke her voice and says, “Everybody dies eventually, sweetie.”

 

“Then we’ll go together,” he insists stubbornly, and then smirks at her. “I’d like to see you with gray hair.”

 

She squeezes his arm, not daring to even crack a smile at the picture he paints. She needs him to listen to her, to really hear what she’s saying. “I want you to remember what I said. Promise me you won’t be alone.”

 

“I’ll never be alone,” he whispers. “Not as long as you’re with me.”

 

She swallows painfully. “Let me throw the remote in.”

 

He snorts. “Absolutely not.”

 

“It’s going to hurt and we both know I’m much better at handling pain than you are-”

 

“River, owner of my hearts, light of my lives -” He takes a deep breath, looking down at her fondly. “Shut up.”

 

Before River can protest, he swoops in and kisses her heatedly, stealing the words from her mouth with the twining of his tongue with hers and the taste of time and firecrackers. He presses one last kiss to the corner of her mouth and tears himself away from her, running for the crack of light in the wall before she can protest. He eases himself partway through it, crying out in pain, and River bites her lip anxiously, watching him with her hearts in her mouth.

 

 _Remember_ , she pleads silently, thinking of the echo Doctor on his knees in tears, the love in her Doctor’s desperately spoken words, the tender way he held her hand and promised her forever, no matter what. _Remember this_.

 

A sudden flash of light blinds her and when she opens her eyes again, she’s standing at the console between the Doctor’s legs, pinning him in place with her hands caging him in on either side. Just a moment ago he’d been enjoying it immensely, but now he looks at her with wide, searching eyes and River steps back with a confused frown. “Are you alright, sweetie?”

 

He nods silently, still watching her like he’s waiting for something. “Fine. You?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She leans in again and kisses his throat. “You’re taking me dancing.”

 

His face falls just a bit before he can hide it from her. “Yes, I am,” he says quietly, sounding almost disappointed.

 

“Have you changed your mind already?” She brushes his hair from his eyes fondly. “You promised, Doctor.”

 

Smiling softly, the Doctor takes her hand and rubs his thumb almost soothingly over her palm. “Quite right, my dear.” He taps her on the nose, his eyes suddenly brighter and fiercer as he looks at her. “And I always keep my promises.”


End file.
